


Cupid's Wings

by obsessive_iris



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angel Wings, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awsten is insecure and doesn't believe they're an angel at first, Everyone Is Gay, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Gender Dysphoria, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Awsten Knight, Nonbinary Character, Other, Otto is adorable, Teleportation, angel Awsten, cupid Awsten, lonely Awsten, soft geoff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessive_iris/pseuds/obsessive_iris
Summary: Awsten Knight is a cupid, and one of the couples they're supposed to put together is Otto and Geoff, but Awsten’s feelings start to get in the way. Also Otto still plays drums but they’re not all a band in this.





	1. New Assignment

Awsten sat in the back seat, watching Travis and his new boyfriend, Jawn. Awsten had told Travis that they needed a ride; that they were going on a date at the restaurant too, except their date would be meeting them there. It was a lie, but Awsten couldn’t find any other excuse to go with Travis and Jawn. Awsten needed to observe for their job, make sure the date was going well.

The car parked, and Awsten headed out.

“See you tomorrow?” Travis turned off the car and got out, opening and closing the door for Jawn.

“Sure.” Awsten couldn’t control when they got a new assignment, but agreed anyway.

“Bye, Awsten!” Jawn said as him and Travis walked into the restaurant.

Awsten snuck around the side of the building, watching the couple through the windows. The guys sat down, and Awsten stopped, leaning against the wall so they could look inside when they wanted but not appear as creepy to anyone who would walk past as if they had been completely turned toward the window.

Being a cupid was a lot of work, and Awsten had only minimal powers. They got visions in their sleep about who needed to be set up, and they could teleport, but they had to do all the manual work of getting the couples to talk to each other themself, which usually involved having to insert themself into the peoples’ lives and become friends with them. There were bright sides to Awsten’s job: it was a good way to meet new people, and they got to watch people fall in love because of them. But Awsten didn’t get enough time off to actually keep the friends they made, except for the occasional text, and watching people fall in love when you know you’ll never be able to have a relationship like that gets frustrating.

Awsten would be done with their latest assignment by the end of this date if everything went well, and it looked like it was so far. They peered in through the window to see Jawn kiss Travis.

~~~~~ time skip ~~~~~

Images flashed before Awsten’s eyes: A Zelda necklace, drumsticks, nose rings. They saw the faces of the two people they were supposed to set up. The guys were cute.  
Awsten woke up with a location in mind. They rubbed their eyes and sat up in the hotel room bed. 

“A day after my last assignment?” They muttered to themself, running a hand through their hair in an attempt to make it less messy. “That was fast.” 

Awsten glanced over at the analog clock on the bedside table. 8:23 am. Seemed as good a time as any to wake up. Awsten got out of bed and pulled some clothes out of the dresser drawer and put on a decent-looking outfit for the day. They brushed their teeth before throwing everything into their suitcase and zipping it up. Awsten brought their stuff downstairs and checked out at the hotel counter, stopping by their breakfast bar for a waffle. Awsten needed to find a deserted place to teleport. Doing it in front of people would freak them out, and Awsten would rather not cause a panic.

They walked out of the hotel and down the street, searching. Good, an alleyway. Awsten checked to make sure there weren’t any edgy teens or homeless people that they might scare.  
When Awsten teleported, everything they touched got teleported too, except for the ground. That meant they couldn’t lean against a wall or that building would get teleported too.  
Awsten snapped their fingers, teleporting to a similar alley in a different town. They didn’t have to snap to teleport; it just made them feel cool.

Awsten looked around in the alley in the new town. Good, no one saw them teleporting. They started onto the sidewalk of the main street, dragging their suitcase behind. Awsten’s phone buzzed, and they pulled it out of their pocket. They had a text from Jawn, asking when Awsten could hang out with him and Travis today. Oh, shit. Awsten texted back, “sorry, man. my job needs me in another state today. we could try for another day but idk when im free yet.” They sent the message right as they collided with someone.

“Sorry!” Awsten looked up from their phone, but they didn’t have to look up very far. The guy they had run into was one of the people they needed to set up, and he was a little shorter than Awsten had expected. The guy had long, curly brown hair pouring out of a beanie and beautiful brown eyes.

The guy laughed. “Sorry.” He saw that Awsten was on their phone and added, “That’s why I don’t have a smartphone. I’d be on it while I’m walking and get even more distracted than I am already.” 

Awsten took this as the perfect opportunity to introduce themself. “Yeah, I was just texting a friend. I’m Awsten. And I use they/them pronouns.” They stuck out their hand.  
"Oh, cool! I’ve never met anyone who uses they/them pronouns. I’m Otto!” Otto shook Awsten’s hand, smiling brightly. Fuck, Awsten thought. His smile… he’s even more adorable in person.


	2. Coffee Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awsten & Otto get coffee and talk about the town. Awsten meets Geoff for the first time.

Awsten and Otto talked while walking down the street. They were already starting to get along with each other even though they just met. 

“I’m actually new here. I move around a lot for my job, so I don’t really know anything about this place. What are the good restaurants? What’s a good place to stay?” Awsten asked.

“Oh, well there’s this cute coffee shop down the street.” Otto gestured with his hand. “I’m going there right now, actually. And uh, I need a bit of help on the farm I live on. If you could maybe help me with some chores, you could stay in my guest room.”

Awsten almost tripped over their own feet. Holy fuck, Otto just asked them to stay in his house with him! “Y-Yeah! That sounds perfect!” Why did Awsten say that. Staying in the same house as Otto would only reinforce their crush. But on the other hand, staying in a house close to one of the halves of his assignment would probably help it go faster, and Awsten wouldn’t have to pay to stay in a hotel or something.

Otto walked into the coffee shop, holding the door open for Awsten. Why is he so nice? It’s not fair, Awsten thought. 

Otto went up to the counter and ordered two coffees, one for him and one for Awsten. As soon as they both sat down at the table, Otto started scribbling on a napkin. Awsten looked around. The coffee shop was pretty nice; there were pictures and decorations on every wall, and one corner had an actual couch. Awsten’s eyes landed on a familiar looking guy sitting at a table by himself on the other side of the coffee shop. It was the guy they were supposed to set Otto up with.

“Hey, Otto.” Awsten interrupted the scribbling. “Who’s he?”

Otto’s eyes followed Awsten’s gaze. He smiled for a second and then shrugged before picking up his coffee and taking a few sips. “I don’t know, I’ve never actually talked to him. But he comes here about as much as I do.”

“Do you think he’s cute?” Despite living as a normal human for as long as they could remember, Awsten had relatively little social graces.

Otto slightly choked on his coffee and placed the cup back down on the table. “What?”

“What?” Awsten was genuinely confused with Otto’s reaction.

“I… um… yeah, I guess.” A blush crept up Otto’s cheeks. Awsten watched Otto’s facial expression before looking down at their coffee.

“Yeah, me too.” Awsten murmered to themself, not meaning for Otto to hear.

“I guess we have something in common then. Similar taste in guys.” Otto chuckled. It was Awsten’s turn to blush.

“You should go talk to him. Get his number or something.”

“Really? What about you?” Otto hesitated.

“It’s fine. You can have him.” Awsten attempted to fake a smile. They couldn’t ask that guy out, or ask Otto out for that matter. They needed the two guys to date each other, not them. 

Otto could tell that Awsten was lying, but they insisted, so he acquiesced. He quietly reassured himself and stood up.

“Good luck.”

Otto walked over to the other side of the coffee shop and up to the guy. Awsten sat still and watched the two talk. Then the mystery guy was writing something on a piece of paper and handing it to Otto. Otto came back over to the table and set the note down for Awsten to read.

The note read “Geoff xoxo” and a phone number.

“Nice!” Awsten smiled. 

Otto smiled back, blushing slightly, and finished scribbling his list of all the good places to go in town on the napkin, handing it to Awsten. “I’m about finished with my coffee. Wanna go check out where you’ll be staying the next few nights?”

They both got up and had walked out the door when Awsten told Otto they were going to go back into the coffee shop to use the restroom. Awsten went back into the coffee shop, but instead of going where they said, they walked up to where Geoff was sitting.

“Hey, Geoff, right?” 

“Yeah. You were sitting with Otto.”

“Yeah! I’m Awsten.” They ran a hand through their purple hair. “Otto thinks you’re cute, and if you ever want to talk about him or if there’s any mixed signals you need interpreted, here’s my number.” Awsten wrote it down on a napkin. “I’m Otto’s friend, so I wanna make sure that if y’all start dating or something, it works out and he doesn’t get hurt or anything.” 

Awsten was slightly lying about their motivations, but Geoff didn’t seem to notice.

“Ok, sure!” He smiled.

Awsten waved and left to find Otto again.

“Ready?” Otto asked.

“Yeah. Let’s go see your farm.”


	3. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otto goes on his first date with Geoff, leaving Awsten alone at the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: masturbation and amab dysphoria
> 
> Please stop reading this chapter when Awsten gets in the shower if you are triggered by either of these things. The masturbation scene is first and the dysphoria is after that is over.

Two days had passed since meeting Geoff. Awsten was settled into a room in Otto’s farm house, right next to Otto’s own room. They had been helping him with chores, mostly feeding the animals and shoveling shit. They had also been texting Geoff and becoming pretty close with him.

“Hey, Awsten! Geoff asked me on a date tonight! What do I wear? Does this outfit look good?” Otto knocked on the door to Awsten’s room.

Awsten got up from where they were sitting on the bed, opened it, and looked Otto up and down. The shorter man wore a gray long-sleeve shirt with three buttons at the top, well-fitting jeans, sneakers, and no beanie covered his soft-looking hair. Awsten’s heart jumped a little in their chest.

“I didn’t want to look too fancy. He’s taking me to a concert for a small local band.” Awsten knew this already; Geoff had asked them where he should take Otto. Awsten figured a concert would be great because of the drumsticks they had seen in their dream.

Awsten smiled. “You look great.”

Otto blushed. “Thanks. Well, you’ve got the farm to yourself for a couple hours, so try not to kill or break anything.”

“I’ll try.”

“See ya, Awsten.” Otto lightly patted Awsten on the arm and walked down the stairs towards the front door.

“Bye!” Awsten called after him. “Good luck with Geoff!”

Otto gave them a thumbs-up and closed the door behind him on his way out. 

Awsten watched Otto leave, sighing. They really needed to get over that stupid crush. 

Awsten decided to take a shower. Maybe the water would clear their head. Besides, they needed one anyway. Awsten and Otto had been working hard around the farm all day today.

Towels were in the closet, body wash and hair products in the shower already, and the loofa Awsten used was also already in the shower. Awsten grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom, closing the door and beginning to strip off their sweaty clothes. 

Awsten turned on the water, making it almost as hot as possible, and waited for a few seconds for it to warm up. They stepped in, pulling the shower curtain closed behind them. Awsten exhaled in pleasure as the steaming water hit their back. They turned around to put their face in the water, and then leaned against side of the shower, which seemed like it could freeze their back, especially in comparison to the water temperature.

Awsten was going to actually wash themself, but instead their hand made its way down to their crotch. Awsten closed their eyes. Their hand moved up and down, heavy breaths matching its pace. They thought about Otto and Geoff. Otto and Geoff fucking. Otto and Geoff fucking them. Pleasure built up in Awsten until they started shaking. They imagined Geoff kissing them, running his hands along their chest and neck and touching their cock as Otto fucked into them. Geoff and Otto’s names fell off of Awsten’s tongue as they came onto their hand and it splattered onto the floor of the shower.

Fuck. What just happened was so incredibly wrong. And disgusting. They just jerked off to the person who offered them a room and the guy he’s on a date with. They jerked off to their assignment. If a god or some other cosmic being existed and was the thing in charge of these assignments, Awsten knew it would be pissed. If it didn’t know about the crushes before; it would now.

Awsten decided it would just be better if he tried to forget about their jerk-off session and not dwell on it. Otto and Geoff would never know. 

Awsten turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying themself off and then looking in the mirror. They started to get dressed in pajamas, but something felt off. They stared at their reflection as the familiar feeling of dread washed over them. 

Your shoulders are too wide, Awsten thought to themself. Your face isn’t feminine enough. See how wrong you look? That’s not how you’re supposed to look. Look at your body. No hips. No curves at all. You look like a guy. Everyone will always think you’re male unless you come out to them. Sure, Otto respects your pronouns, but he secretly thinks of you as a guy. He can’t see you as anything other than that. You’ll always look like a man. Geoff thinks of you as a man.

Awsten knew the thoughts were irrational but they couldn’t stop thinking them. They swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump forming in their throat. They couldn’t stop looking in the mirror at every little thing that was wrong with them. 

This would be easier if you were born in a female body. You’d have less dysphoria. But you’d still have dysphoria. 

You’d still have dysphoria if you transitioned. Look at the bulge in your pants. Look at your flat chest. You’d still hate yourself with a vagina and boobs. You can’t get surgery and still have what you already have at the same time. It’s impossible. If you transition you’ll regret it. You’ll miss your dick. You’ll miss having a flat chest. 

Awsten’s breathing became faster and more shallow. They tore their eyes away from the mirror and slowly walked to their room, arms curled around their sides. They sank down onto the floor against the wall and pulled their knees up to their chest.

There’s nothing you can do. Your body looks wrong. Your body feels wrong. You’re gross. Everyone will always think of you as a man and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. No one will ever meet you and immediately think of you as non-binary. Everyone thinks in binary. Even when you come out to someone, they’ll still see you as a male.

Awsten had no idea how long they sat like that, slightly rocking back and forth, but after a while the door could be heard opening. Shit. Otto’s home. Is it that late already? Awsten looked up and realized they hadn’t closed the door to the room they were staying in completely; it was slightly ajar. They needed to get up; they had to get up and close the door, but they couldn’t force themself to. They couldn’t let Otto see them this way. They just sat there trying to close the door, but they couldn’t make themself get up to do it.

“Awsten?” Otto walked up the stairs. “Hey, did you fall asleep?” The door to Awsten’s room being open caught his eye. He opened the door further and could hear sobs coming from inside. “Awsten? Shit, Are you okay?”

He walked over in front of Awsten and knelt down. “Hey. Can I?” Otto reached out his hand.

Awsten slightly nodded. Otto ran his hand through Awsten’s hair. He moved over so he was sitting next to Awsten against the wall and put his arm around his crying friend. “Hey, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that.” Awsten choked out. “It makes it sound like it’s your fault. It’s not; it’s just my mind being fucking stupid and my awful body.” Awsten curled into themself further.

“Okay.” Otto caressed Awsten’s shoulder with his thumb. “If you want to talk about anything; I’m right here.” 

“Thank you. It’s nothing; it’s just dysphoria.”

“Awsten, that’s not nothing.”

Awsten smiled slightly into their arms and turned towards Otto, moving their face so it was resting on Otto’s chest. Awsten didn’t care about anything, they didn’t care about getting too attached to their assignment, they just needed the comfort.


	4. State of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally, Geoff becoming a slightly more important character (also I kinda stole a small line from the show Galavant bc it was cute)

Awsten woke up wrapped inside the arms of Otto, who breathed heavily in his sleep. They were still sitting in the same position against the wall as last night. Otto was so soft and warm, but Awsten was uncomfortable, the breathing annoyed them, and they wanted the romantic thoughts that were creeping into their head because of Otto’s proximity to go away. They couldn’t escape. Otto was holding them too tight, and they had no intention of waking him up, which meant the only thing Awsten could do until Otto woke up of his own volition was think. Awsten hated having time to think. Maybe they could reach their phone? 

Awsten writhed around, but not too much, and freed one arm from the boa constrictor-like grasp. They just barely reached their phone a few feet away on the floor, and struggled to pull it closer with their fingertips until they could pick it up. 

Notifications from Jawn, Travis, and other friends Awsten had met on assignments cluttered their lock screen. Awsten looked at each one, trying to ignore Otto’s body next to them.

Otto stirred slightly. His eyes fluttered open.

“Oh. Awsten, hey.” He yawned and took his arm back from around his friend. “Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. Ow.” He stood up and stretched and then reached out his hand.

Awsten took it and smiled as Otto helped them to their feet.

“I’ll go make us breakfast!” Otto yawned again and rubbed his eyes before trudging down the stairs.

“Pancakes and orange juice?”

“Yes.” Otto smiled up at them, heading into the kitchen.

Awsten went back into their room to change into clothes. They put on their usual black jeans and an oversized sweater, then came back out and followed Otto.

Awsten found Otto blushing at his phone.

“What is it?” 

“This is a text from Geoff: ‘good morning, cutie! i had a great time with you last night and was wondering if you and awsten wanted to come over and chill at my apartment today!’” Otto grinned.

“That is fucking adorable.” Awsten leaned on the counter next to where Otto stood. 

“Wanna go this afternoon?”

“What?”

“...to Geoff’s apartment.”

“...I don’t wanna be a third wheel.” Awsten grabbed some of the pancake ingredients out of the cupboards.

“You won’t be! It’s fine, he invited you.” Otto greased up a skillet and started making breakfast.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Awsten, I want you to be there.”

“Okay.” Awsten poured themself some orange juice, their favorite drink, and put it on the dining room table. “Need any help in there?”

“I’ve got it!” Otto called back from the kitchen.

Awsten sat on the wooden chair and watched Otto cook. The dining room and kitchen didn’t have any wall or door between them, they just flowed together, which Awsten liked, because it meant they could see Otto while he made breakfast. He looked so absorbed in making pancakes for them that Awsten couldn’t help but smile.The look of concentration on his face was so adorable. 

Awsten texted Geoff. “you sure you want me to come over with otto? i won’t be intruding?”

Geoff immediately replied, “of course you won’t!”

Awsten wasn’t so sure, but they decided to drop it. Their eyes wandered around the room as they waited for Otto to finish making the pancakes.

~ ~ ~ 

Awsten and Otto arrived at Geoff’s apartment, where he was waiting next to the door.

“Hey, guys!” He opened the door and let them in, closing it once everyone was inside.

“So, I have a bunch of multiplayer video games, and we can order pizza later.” 

“Nice!” Otto hopped onto the couch in front of the TV and grabbed a controller.

“Hey, Geoff, where’s your bathroom?” Awsten shuffled their feet. They didn’t know why they felt so nervous being at Geoff’s place; this was basically the same as being at Otto’s farm house all the time. Maybe it was just because they didn’t know Geoff as well? They had only talked to him in person once before.

“First door there.” Geoff pointed, sitting down on the couch next to Otto. “Don’t fall in!”

Awsten went into the bathroom. Geoff was so cute, and him and Otto both gave them butterflies. Seeing the two of them together made them happy, but they didn’t know how long they could stand not being included in the romance. Awsten had never been part of anything romantic. They didn’t know if they would ever get to be with someone romantically. After all, if they were supposed to set everyone else up with their soulmates, who was there to set them up with theirs? Was there any possibility that they even had a soulmate?

When they came back out into the living room, Geoff and Otto both had controllers in their hands.

“Smash?” Otto offered to Awsten.

They stopped and blood rushed to their cheeks and, uh, other places. “W-what?”

“Wanna play Super Smash Bros?”

“Oh! Uh- yeah!” Awsten knew they would mentally harass themself for the rest of the night about that. 

They sat down on the couch next to Geoff, who smiled and handed them a controller. Good, neither of the two men seemed to notice Awsten’s dumbass misinterpretation. Awsten tucked their feet under them and sat cross-legged on the couch. Geoff scooched a little closer to Otto to make room for their legs.

Otto and Geoff each won one of the first two matches.

“Don’t worry, you’ll win the next one.” Geoff elbowed Awsten’s arm.

“Yeah, thanks.” But Awsten was too distracted by Otto and Geoff to actually focus on the game. 

Awsten lost another two matches. “Shit! I promise I’ve played this before; I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

Geoff was about to say something when Otto cut him off. “Hey, Awsten, can I talk to you over in the kitchen?”

The kitchen was a slightly separated room from the rest of the apartment. Awsten was confused, but they followed Otto.

He turned toward Awsten and pulled them over to the fridge by their arm. In a low voice, Otto said, “Are you okay? If you wanna go home, tell me, and we’ll go.”

Awsten sighed and rolled their eyes. Otto had to pull them away for a secret conversation… about this? 

“I’m fine. Besides, I don’t want to ruin your time with Geoff.”

“If you feel uncomfortable at all, I can take you home; it’s no problem. I just want to make sure you…”

“Don’t break down crying again?” Awsten interrupted, leaning on the counter.

“Well, yeah, but you’re just staying here for work and now I pulled you into hanging out with me and the guy I’ve been on a date with, and I’m sorry if I made it awkward. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, especially because of me. If you’re feeling, um, dysphoria again, we can go.” 

Awsten looked down at their feet. “Are you embarrassed of me?”

“What? Awsten- no! Why would you-?”

Thoughts started swirling through Awsten’s head, starting to drown out everything else. “You’ve seen me like that. You don’t have to pretend it didn’t make you uncomfortable. You don’t want me to make your boyfriend uncomfortable too and drive him away. You’ve got this emotionally unstable stranger living in your house. I get it.”

“Awsten- I, damn it, I’m sorry if I implied any of that. You’re cool; I love hanging out with you, and I think Geoff likes you too.” 

Awsten didn’t realize how much this conversation was affecting them until they slammed their hand down on the counter. They looked down at their hand and back up at Otto. “Sorry. I just… I can’t have friends. I can’t. I’m just going to have to leave again, and it’s going to be too much of an effort to keep in touch with me.”

Awsten stalked back over to Geoff’s couch, not looking back at Otto. They didn’t want to know what expression was on his face, whether it was pity or some kind of expression that meant ‘this person is fucking crazy, what did I get myself into’.

They sat down again. Otto didn’t say anything and did the same. Geoff looked back and forth between the two, but started the next game without a word. For once, Awsten wasn’t distracted. 

“You won!” Geoff gasped. “I told you!” He excitedly wrapped his arm around Awsten, pulling them close.

Awsten gasped and pulled away. Geoff looked hurt. Awsten made the mistake of looking at Otto’s face. Yep, that sure seemed like pity.

“I can’t do this.” Awsten got up and headed for the door. “I’m walking back. I’ll pack my stuff and be out of your house tomorrow morning, Otto.” Awsten could already tell the two would be fine without any more of their interference. So what if they didn’t see their assignment all the way through? It’s not like they’d ever abandoned an assignment before; they were bound to have a lot of sick days built up. 

“No, Awsten!” Otto got up and stood face to face with them. “I’m driving you home, and you can stay as long as you want at my house.” 

Awsten took a step back, wrapping their arms around their ribs. “Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

They nodded to themself. “I’m really sorry, Geoff. I ruined you and Otto’s time together, and I made things weird. It’s just… I have to move around a lot for my job, and I’m never really able to keep friends or be close with… well, anyone, really. I’m not used to affection.” They were only lying by omission, but they still hated it. Geoff was so pure, he didn’t deserve to be lied to, but Awsten wasn’t ready to explain everything about his “job” to Otto, and he was right there.

“It’s okay, Awsten. I didn’t know how comfortable you are with physical contact.” Geoff stood up. “Can I hug you?”

Awsten took a deep breath. “Yeah”

He wrapped his arms around Awsten. It was one of those forever sort of hugs. If Geoff didn’t pull away, Awsten felt like it could go on forever and never end, and they would always exist in Geoff’s arms. But he did pull away.

“See you.” He waved the two of them out the door. 

Awsten and Otto got into Otto’s car. He drove in silence for a few minutes.

“Do you think Geoff hates me?” Awsten finally murmured, partially to themself.

“I think Geoff feels the same way about you as me.”

“You sure you don’t hate me?” Awsten chuckled, leaning their head against the window.

“Awsten; people genuinely like you. Let them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was gonna be a super fluffy chapter, and then it turned into that mess. Also, longest chapter so far eyyyyy!


End file.
